Young adulthood. It is said to be the time of life when one discovers one's identity. Apparently we go through childhood and, especially, adolescence in a constant search and struggle for who we are. However, I am finding my own experience to be rather different. I knew who I was when I was a child. Even into early adolescence, I knew who I was and where I stood; I was significantly more convicted in my values and beliefs. And then I left home for boarding academy, later to college. While I in no way fell off the deep end, I lost my grounding in many ways.  As I went through high school and college I began to see a world with blurred lines and complicated problems. I met people and had experiences that were faith shaking, to say the least. It seems to me, that the time in our lives when we are supposed to be "finding ourselves" is precisely the time when we lose who we truly are.

Society would have us believe that our late teens and early twenties are for self-discovery-- a time to try new things and make mistakes. Throw caution to the wind rather than proceeding with caution. But this is what I have found: all the "self-discovery" that I have experienced has actually been re-discovery. It seems to me that early adulthood is vital in the shaping of one's character for the rest of life.

Somewhere between the age of 15 and 20 I lost big pieces of myself. Now, as I concentrate on shaping my own character, it is those qualities that I strive to get back. Passion for whatever it is I may be doing. Excitement over everyday things. Genuineness. But the more I long to get back sincerity of my childhood the more challenging it proves to be and I want to go back in time and tell my 15-year-old self "don't lose this part of you. Hang out to it with all you have. That friendship, it's not worth losing your depth and sincerity. And that boyfriend, he in no way deserves to steal your innocence." The fact is, we all make mistakes when we're young. But I would suggest that when we reach this so-called point of "self-discovery" that we don't go searching for someone new. Because maybe what we need to journey back to the simplicity of our younger years. Take the sincerity of your childhood and combine it with the perspective from your adult experiences.Be genuine. Be passionate. Be bold. Be sincere.

"And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become as little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.'"
Matthew 18:3-5

2010 In A Nutshell

You know when old people tell you that time goes quicker the older you get? Well, I think that might be true. When I was little a week seemed like eternity. But this year has really flown by. Really. Since the new year is quickly approaching, I thought it would be appropriate to do a bit of a recap of 2010. The good has definitely outweighed the bad and I'm very thankful for all the experiences I've had and all the people I have shared them with. So here goes:

January: Sam and I ventured out one Sabbath afternoon to St. Joeseph's Beach. We were really glad we did because the ice caves were so cool! The entire pier was covered in ice, including this lighthouse.

February: Celebrated our 2 year anniversary on the 16th. Sam hid clues all around his apartment that ended in P.S. I Love You and probably the sweetest note I've ever received in my whole twenty years.

March: Over spring break Sam and I flew out to Washington State and I met my beautiful niece for the first time. And I have loved every minute of being her aunt ever since.

April: The 30th marked the very last day of my first year at Andrews University. This month brought SO many beautiful flowers and blossoms. Also, I started writing this blog which I must say I have enjoyed immensely.

May: The first month of my amazing summer at home! And also my beautiful little sister's high school graduation. She's all grown up *tear*

June: The highlight of June was, of course, campmeeting. This year I got to see my cousin Zoe who isn't able to attend very many family get togethers. My sister and I used to babysit her all the time when she was little and we miss having her around very much. But we were very grateful to spend some time with her.

July: This month was packed full of family and lots of fun. My grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Pretty much the whole family was able to come and as you can see, it's really hard to fit us all in front of one backdrop. Of course july included fireworks and my grandfathers birthday party spent at the lake with lots of summer food and water tubing.

August: Got to see my one of my oldest friends! We were inseparable since we met in Sabbath School but sadly her family moved to the west coast when we were in the 5th grade (I think). We hadn't seen each other in years so I had to take a picture because this never happens.

I also got to spend some time with my favorite girls, hanging out in Chicago. It was splendid and I can't wait to see them again in 2011!

September: It's really sad that a whole month can go by without anything noteworthy happening... but it did.

October: Fall break was spent back at home and included a shopping trip of epic proportions. However I don't have any documentation of it. Sad day. I need to take more pictures. I resolve to do that in 2011, haha.

November: The Adelante Banquet! Which is basically a banquet that the spanish club at school puts on every year. Why, you may ask, did we attend being that we are not in any way spanish? I couldn't tell you. But we convinced some of our super cool friends to come with us and it was a great night.

December: There were many highlights this month, I might just do a whole separate blog. I have, however, narrowed it down to these two. My niece turned one year old! Seriously. Time flies.

Highlight number two was my families annual Polish Christmas Dinner. We eat all kinds of amazing things like perogie, golumpki, polish sausage with sourkraut and cream puff desert. The latter isn't really polish, but it's still super delicious and worth mentioning.

There it is, 2010 in a nutshell. It was really hard to pick out the best things from this year because there really are so many great memories. It may sound extremely cliche, but I feel uber blessed with the life, family and friends God has given me. So here's to the end of a spectacular year and the beginning of another.

Not The Time

Today my family and I went over to my Aunt Corinne's house. It was a great time with family, as it always is. We ate (burgers, hot dogs, watermelon; all that amazing summertime food), we talked, and everyone mooned over the new baby in the family.

On the drive home we took the long way, through all the towns and places my parents grew up and spent their teenage years. It was a long day for the little one. She was tired. Tired of sitting in her car seat. She screamed endlessly (besides the five seconds between when she found her thumb) until we finally arrived home. I am thoroughly enjoying the time I'm getting to spend with my ridiculously adorable niece, but if nothing else it makes me realize that I am no where near wanting one of my own. As I see the selflessness my brother and sister-in-law possess, it makes me see my one selfishness. There's a time for everything and I have no doubt that when that time comes I will have what it takes to be a loving selfless mother; but I feel like now is not that time.

Tuesday we are headed to Noah's Ark Waterpark. I have a feeling the baby will stay at home.

Morgan Ruth

This is Morgan Ruth, and right now she's taking a nap on my living room floor. Being an Aunt is probably the most exciting thing that has happened to me in quite some time; I absolutely love it. At first it's strange to think of your sibling being old enough to have children, but to be completely honest (and completely unbiased) I don't think there is a role my brother Rob has played better. Morgan is 6 months old already and this is only the second time I've seen her in person. At this moment it's really hard to let her sleep because I just want to pick her up and cuddle her. I look forward to all the fun and exciting things I'll get to show her, and places I'll get to take her as she grows up. So here's to babies... and brothers having babies... and being an Aunt... Auntie Lisa.