Friday, May 28, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
The other day I was going through my junk drive getting it ready for my sister to use for school. As I weeded through all the... junk, I came across something I had written in high school for a project. I'm posting it because it shows a bit of who I am and where I come from; but most importantly, it shows me how far I have come. So here it is:
This testimony isn’t exactly like others. I can’t really say what my life was like before I met Christ because I was raised knowing Him. He has always been there. I can’t really talk about the difference He has made in my life because like I said before, He has always been there.
But there have been times in my life where I KNEW that I needed Gods help, or more so just His Presence. Just to know that He is with me. I have committed my life to Him, although I’ve stumbled many times in my short 17 years. So my testimony is mostly about the past summer. It was one of the most defining times of my life, and God was the one who got me through it all.
At the end of my junior year/ beginning of that summer I lost my two best friends. It was one of those things that in my gut I knew that what my friends were doing was wrong, and not a good influence on me. I was getting tired of being involved in constant drama, and just the way I acted while I was around them. They were the only people that I hung out with and because of that I wasn’t there for my sister when she needed me. Not only was I tired of everything, the things one of them was doing was hurting me, and her. Anyway, it apparently came off to them that I wasn’t a true friend and that I was superficial. When all I wanted was to simplify my life and get my priorities straight. Neither of them understood why what they were doing was hurting me. I was supposed to be the good friend, and stick with them through everything even though it was MY reputation on the line. I wasn’t doing what they were, and I didn’t want people to think that I supported what they were doing. This is when I realized that the friendships weren’t going to be saved. I was getting really upset that this was turning into such a big problem. Throughout the whole summer I stressed out about it. Even though the sickness in my stomach faded, I couldn’t get any of it out of my head. My parents were very supportive, but they had stresses of their own. There was hardly any rain all summer long. Since my parents are dairy farmers, no rain = no grass= no milk= no MONEY.
So one day while my parent were doing chores in the barn I took the 4-wheeler out for a ride. As a drove though one of our fields, everything was rushing through my head. I felt so overwhelmed with everything. So I turned off the 4-wheeler and laid back on it in the middle of the pasture. I didn’t really know what to do so I started to pray. At first it just started out as a prayer for some rain. The field was turning brown, and it would really lift some of the stress form my parents. I was feeling so depressed about everything and as I prayed I started to cry. Through my sobs my prayer for rain turned into prayer for a spiritual rain. I asked God to rain on me. For a while that’s all I could say to Him. “RAIN ON ME” To be with me through all the stuff I was going through. Right then I felt water dropping on my face. It was raining. God was raining on me. It felt so refreshing, and I just knew that God was with me. By the time I got back to the house I was soaked. I changed into some dry clothes and looked out the window. Reaching from one end of the sky to the other was a double rainbow.
This last summer was one of the hardest of my life. But that day I knew that I was standing up for what I knew was right, and God was right at my side. My summer didn’t really get any easier after that. That’s not really how it works. In fact, after breaking up with my boyfriend a week before my senior year, it seemed even worse. But through it all God was there. Just like He promised.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
There are things in my life that I never want to forget. People I don't want to lose. Namely Sam Schultz. So what can I do to make sure I don't forget the details of our story? Write it down, some of it anyway.
-leadership camp, the way my stomach would tighten at the sight of him
- getting the chance to talk to him with no one else around, our first real conversation
- when he let me where his hat
- foliage man
- the way he makes me laugh
- the thrill of his kisses in the library when Mrs. Sigler wasn't there
- spring nights, sipping slushies at the dam
- summer nights laying on the basketball court
- the ache of a long distance relationship
- the anticipation of seeing him again
- being at college together
- the way he hugs me first thing when we get back to his apartment
- exploring the ice-bergs and the frozen lighthouse
- riding our bikes in the fall
- the time we laid on his living room floor laughing hysterically over... nothing
- Chuck and How I Met Your Mother marathons
These are just a few of the things I've shared with him, things I want to hold on to no matter what happens. This boy means everything to me. We've been together for 2 years, and it's amazing how much relationships can grow, through all the changes that takes place. When I think of past relationships, it's hard to remember the details, the things that made it worthwhile at the time. But the truth is, real relationships aren't easy to forget.
So here's to remembering. The little things, the ones you love or maybe the one's you've lost.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Life is really starting to pick up. I'm going into my 3rd year of college, and starting to feel more and more like an adult. I'm dealing with money (or lack thereof ), school and starting to plan my future. I think I really need this summer at home. I need it to take a bit of a break, put some things back into perspective, and maybe do some things I've been putting off. Once the school year picks up again in the fall, there's no chance of slowing it down, no chance of slowing my life down at this point. It just keeps going by faster. But I'm very thankful for the summer I get to spend in Chetek. Making pies, gardening, working, reading and maybe even sewing.
I used to love making rhubarb pies, especially for my dad. And there's been too few in the past few years. Here's to Summer 2010.