I'm sitting here at work. School is out. I'm going to Florida in four days. After Florida, I'm going home, stopping in Milwaukee to hang out with two of my very best friends. Things are picking up and slowing down at the same time. I can finally read the books I want to read.

But I feel overwhelmingly insecure. Scared even. Everything seems so certain and then, out of nowhere, it's not.

Working front desk is hard when somthing is on your mind. It's hard to smile and greet people and not snap at them for asking stupid questions, or for assuming that you know every person in the dorm and how to conact them.

However, God is here. And as I was cleaning up the desk I came across this:
An Intimate Message From God to You
My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you wre made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were concieved. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of you birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are feafully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Mathew 5:48
Every good gift that you recieve comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughs toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Sephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are broken-hearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepard carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate exprssion of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you recieve the gift of my son Jesus, you recieve me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8: 38-39
Come home and I will throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:17
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is... Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

All I know is that I really needed this. Maybe you did too.

You Were There

Because these words speak right to my heart, every time:

http://youtu.be/5R5jRz3IeMU

I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight

'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb

'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were

Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath

You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God

You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God

Two...more...weeks.

I'm tired of school. Can you tell?

Below is a pre-academic school year desk and a pre-finals desk.

I can't even think of anything to say right now. I have checked out, which isn't good because very few things on my list have been accomplished.

I*sob* can*scream of frustration* do*sigh* this.

But isn't my mustache mug the epitome of cool?!

Memory #356

He is tall. A good 6'2'' to her 4'11." His skin is dark and leathery; worn by the sun. He leads her hand-in-hand, dressed up in a light-weight, snap-botton shirt and wrangler jeans. When he gets close he bends down to me and pulls a Werther's Original from his pocket. He hands it to me with a wink. I can smell his Stenson cologne; the stuff from the brown-glass cowboy that sits on his dresser. As I take the caramel from his massive hands, stained with motor oil and iodine, and rock solid from work, I give him the smile that little girls save only for their grandfathers. Towering over me he continues to lead her. She is petite; short with dainty legs, so he keeps his long stride slow. As I run to catch up with my cousins, I hear him laughing; laughing and talking and talking... and talking.

He is old and sight is slipping. Not quite as tall as he once was- funny how age can do that. Familiar places remain so primarily by shape, sound and smell. However, Barney from The Andy Griffith Show is recognizable before he even speaks. She leads him through the pines and cabins as only she can; because it really isn't leading at all, just Grandpa and Grandma taking a stroll. His knees are sore, so she keeps her petite steps slow. As people pass by he talks and laughs and talks... and talks.

End of Semester To-Do List

One more week of classes, one week of finals and I am done. I have so many great plans for my first couple weeks of summer and I can't wait for it to get here! But this is everything I have to finish before any of the good stuff can start:

Much to Do Report- Report about a New York Times book review
Literary Analysis- Exploring family loyalties in Montana 1948
Finish reading We Are the Ship for Children's Literature
Read The Namesake for Modern Literature
Much Ado picnic!
Oral Spanish final- crap.
Philosophy of Service assignment
Clase de espanol fiesta!
Spanish final- crap.
Modern Literature final
Children's Literature final
Much Ado final

And that's it! It really isn't much. I know people who have TONS more to finish by the end of the semester. I'm not really the "planning" type, but it feels good to have everything I need to do laid out for me. Happy Semester's End to you all!

A. Casperson Books

A couple weeks ago I went to a old/used/rare book store in Niles, MI. GOLD MINE. It was amazing how many books were squeezed into such a small shop. There were cookbooks, history books, children's literature, modern literature... everything. I was seriously overwhelmed, I didn't even know where to start looking. The most exciting part was when I found a book that I have wanted to get in hardcover for so long: Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. I was so excited because not only was it in hardcover and excellent condition, but it only cost $6.50! The cheapest I could ever find in such condition was around $30. This bookstore is amazing; I can't wait to go back!

What I'm Reading

This post should really be titled "What I Have Read in the Past Three Weeks." I haven't been able to keep up with posting this series because school has been so crazy! It picked right back up the second I got back from spring break. At least the next two weeks will slow down a bit, at least until finals week...

Montana 1948

By: Larry Watson

I loved this book. It isn't easy to read. It deals with a lot of difficult issues such as family loyalty and justice. The events that take place in this book are disturbing but I was pleased with the resolution at the end. The ending isn't very happy, but it's real and it gives really good insight to underlying truths within families and communities.

Lord of the Flies

By: William Golding

The general themes and insight into human nature makes this book great; along with the writing and imagery used. However, it was really hard for me to get through. A group of boys stranded on an island is bound to end poorly. Much the same is an earth occupied by sinful human beings. This book is sad, but not surprising.

As I Lay Dying

By William Faulkner

This book came very close to being the death of me. One might notice all the pink sticky-notes sticking out of the book. This is because I just turned in a 10 page paper about the way Southern Gothic is portrayed in the novel. I handed the paper to my professor this morning and instantly a wave of relief washing over me and took with it the weight that has been suppressing my shoulders for the past week and a half (haha, dramatic much?).

Anyway, this book is pretty out there; the Southern Gothic genre as a whole is pretty out there. However, Faulkner is pretty genius. He makes the most grotesque and morbid characters and situations... funny. You can't deny it! Even though it is grossly humorous, it is not a feel-good read (surprise, surprise, it was assigned for Modern Literature). I think I would have liked Faulkner.

P.S. Excuse the bags under my eyes. This research paper raped me of precious sleeping hours.